A boy wants to touch me "down there" but all my friends say I have fish
"down there." What can I do so that the boy doesn't touch the fish?
A Fishy Situation
First things first, how old are you? Because if you're young enough to think there's actual fish involved here, I'd say you have more of a bait problem - as in jail. You might want to tell that boy to come back in about ten years.
Alrighty, now that *that's* out of the way, there's something you can do to make sure there's no "fish" for anyone to touch "down there": Wash. Often. With soap and water. That should make the fish go away.
And if, god forbid, you're actually seeing REAL LIVE FISH "down there", you should probably head to the doctor asap. Or to your local aquarium. Whichever's closer. Barring that, I hear there's good money to be made in the tabloids these days. You could be the BatBoy of the new generation!
I love some red snapper,